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A Letter from a Jehovah’s Witness Mother

Submitted by Jaymes on June 21, 2012 - 12:33 pm 26 Comments

If some people still think the Jehovah's Witness religion isn't a cult, they should read this letter from a Jehovah's Witness mother to her sonThe JWB tagline is “The Funny Side of being a Jehovah’s Witness”. However, we do realise that a lot of the time, the Jehovah’s Witness cult harms and destroys families as well as the well-being of individuals who are simply trying to survive in this world.

I found a letter from a Jehovah’s Witness mother, sent to her disfellowshipped son, David, on the net and contacted David, asking for his permission to write an article about the letter his mother sent him. David allowed us to air the letter.

I transcribed it last night and as I was doing this, I felt the pit of my stomach ache. Not because I was hungry, but because the Jehovah’s Witness religion can actually remove instincts that should be natural to most mothers and fathers.

My darling son David

You are so very special to me and have always been the love of my life. I used to think when you were little that I would die for you, and live because of you. You meant the world to me and I will always love you very much.

Because of this love, I always wanted you to have the happiest, safest life I could provide and tried to bring you up with the strongly held beliefs I lived by, in the hope that this would affect your own life for the good, and ultimately you would live forever in paradise on earth. You know all this to be the case.

Read this letter and let us know what you think

This is the first page. Click to expand it.

I personally have always believed in The Truth as presented in the Bible, and have always felt the strong presence of Jehovah God and Jesus in my life, even as a child. I have always believed the prophesies in the Bible, and that there will be a paradise on earth in which everyone will live in peace and love with no war, sickness and death, and that the dead will be resurrected due to Jehovah’s justice and fairness. I have always lived my life with all this in view, and have never sought a worldly, secular career or pathway. Becoming one of Jehovah’s Witnesses was the obvious next step for me.

This letter is being written by me with no outside coercion or influence because there are things I want to say to you.

Being in The Truth has never been easy, but when all is said and done, I am in it because of my belief in Jehovah, and what he has done for us, and will yet do.

People will always let you down, and somehow we have to look above and beyond, at the bigger picture. So to say that some people who profess to be Christians live in ways that show them to be hypocrites is no exaggeration. But I strongly feel that whilst they may fool themselves, and others, they can’t fool Jehovah, and “it is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the Living God.”

I have chosen my path and my way of life and so I must live by the commands and statutes laid down in the Bible by Jehovah himself. One of these commands has been the cause of great stress and grief to me, and I have put it off for too long now. I realise that I would have benefited spiritually by doing things Jehovah’s way from the start, and I must emphasise that what I am about to say to you is not influenced by any other living person, but is purely directed by my conscience and a desire to regain my peaceful friendship with God. Nobody can make me do anything I don’t want to do.

Read the second page of this letter from a Jehovah's Witness mother to her son, David Reekie

Page 2 – Click to expand it

While this is singularly the most painful thing I have ever had to do in my entire life, I need to move forwards towards the goal of everlasting life, and to this end I deeply regret that I must terminate our relationship whilst you remain disfellowshipped.

I have cried myself dry over this situation, and it has broken my heart, but David, you have known that it should have been handled this way from the start. You have chosen your path in life, and I wish you all the best. I want you to know that not only will my love always be there for you, but Jehovah too is waiting with open arms for your return.

Your loving mother, now and forever.

Now that you’ve read that, how do you feel? Can you see how the Jehovah’s Witness religion is in fact a cult? I do not know David’s mother, but I think I am right in my assumption in saying that if David had decided to stop supporting Tottenham Hotspur and turned his allegiances to Arsenal, his mother wouldn’t have cut him off. Actually, that’s a bad example, for if I had a son or daughter who stopped supporting Spurs and decided to become an Arsenal fan, I think I would cut them off. I am digressing again.

My point is that it’s not natural for a mother to want to cut off her son just because he doesn’t follow the same belief system as she does. But that’s exactly what has happened here and it really does sicken me.

So for all those Jehovah’s Witness apologists out there who claim that the Watchtower Society doesn’t shun ex-Jehovah’s Witnesses, I think this letter shows that that isn’t the case. Although Rick Fenton, the Watchtower Society’s spokesperson in England, said the following:

“It’s a personal matter for each individual to decide for himself if they no longer want to be a Jehovah’s Witness. Any one of Jehovah’s Witnesses is free to express their feelings and to ask questions. If a person changes their mind about Bible-based teachings they once held dear, we recognise their right to leave.”

Looks like Mrs. Reekie didn’t get the memo…

You can follow David’s posts on his blog and we encourage you all to show him your magnificent JWB support!

  • Steve McRoberts

    Andrew never said or implied that he had asked his step-mother to give up her beliefs. He merely told her that he no longer believes as she does. How can you misconstrue that as being “selfish”?

    Andrew’s step-mother doesn’t know “what Jehovah does” anymore than you or I do (or the Watchtower does.) So “studying” (i.e. reading Watchtower publications) won’t help.

    Andrew hasn’t gone “against Jehovah God” — he has stopped believing the baseless nonsense spewed by the Watchtower, and no longer believes in its self-contradictory, cruel god.
    If you do some REAL studying (outside of Watchtower publications) you’ll find that their “reasons why we should believe” are groundless.

  • R0L0

    And therein lies the issue; your comparison of “wordly” people to drug addicts (note the spelling). Wordly people are not “bad” people who have something wrong with them; you are no more good and they are no more evil. They just so happen not to hold the same beliefs as you. Isolating JW’s from everyone else who is different is a tried and true strategy of maintaining one’s flock by fear and ignorance. In the end its simply called discrimination.

  • jw study

    No if you go against Jehovah God then you are with the devil. And yes she is your mom but how can you be selfish and ask her to give her beliefs up and go against Jehovah.

    Do you not think you would try to study and ask her if she can help you see what Jehovah does and the reason why we should believe.

  • jw study

    It’s not that if you look at it and let’s say they have a sickness that if you get around them you will catch it you would do all you can to prevent from getting it. If you do stuff with worldly people you may end up sinning because we are not perfect so we try our best to stay out of those situations and sometimes it means not being around people because of the way they act. If you had a kid that was a drug attic and every time they went around you they stole and lied and cheated you would ask them not to come around until they have realized what they have done and wanted to fix it then you can help them but until then all you can do is wait and not put yourself in a bad situation.

  • Paul Driu

    I was born a Jehovah s Witness until i was 18 I ran away and lived my life pursued my own happiness that the world has to offer ,Forty Five years now of my life I still haven’t found the happiness I’m looking for, I have kids on my own divorced and living with much more pain the society we live on today has to offer. Through out the entire time I have entered various other churches and beliefs but what was taught to me about the truth the bible and its principles in my younger days remained the truth .
    What that woman did is one of the most honourable thing to do and nicely written she wrote that letter to the understanding that her son knew exactly of how Jehovah s witness holds the bible principle in a very high regards its not what they made out on their own to be called cult but its what their god Jehovah s laws, the law that was written many many years ago .
    He was a baptised and was dis-fellowship because of not living in harmony with those bible principles ,but that was not the end he is given time to repent and go back and that’s what that letter is saying she is simply asking her son to repent and go back because if he remained dis fellowship they wont be able to mend their relationship if he remained outside the wall.,
    We can all be very cynical in making negative comments or be judgemental about things we don’t know but that’s not our fault too its probably just a human thing .I guess what I’m trying to say is try to find out about Jehovah s witnesses and their belief and the understanding about the bible and its principle and about God Jehovah, I Thank you about this letter it has now made me change my mind today and go back to Jehovah and his wonderful organisation.. I do hope that all of you that had written comments on the above and the person that created this website would really find true happiness and the truth itself one day it took me 45 years now to finally find it and I thank you so very much..Paul Driu

  • Lloyd

    this is clearly how simple things like this gets out of control, i will be the respectful one and ignore your insults. but im happy you still still read my comments. have a nice day.

  • R0L0

    Dear Lloyd, your post is a great example, thank you for sharing. Your grammar, punctuation, spelling and sentence structure are shining examples of the emphasis JW’s place on the importance of education and critical thinking. I’m so happy that the JW god taught you how to walk, feed and dress yourself and wipe you behind, because certainly your mother did not. I do hope that you won’t kill your family though as everlasting life will be really, really warm.

  • Lloyd Harmon

    who are you people to decide what decisoins should a mother make? even regardening her own family?
    can any of you relate to how she felt at that very moment when she was writting this note?
    people who really dont think that jw people are good people, why do they critize them? surely they are not the only religious people in the world that feel very very strong about who they serve.
    other people who called themselve christian are just bunch of title seeking freak, to thing that they are better becasue they have that associatoin. people dont like to thing critical about anything now these days, they just follow the big crow.

    by all means, when it comes to jw believe their are far more good benefit coming from them then from any other religion in the world, and i mean that.
    i know that they will never suport any kind of war, which they never have, meanwhile all the other reliong in the world have no problem killing onanother.
    they actually get people think about about what they read in the bible, and if any of you do, you will see, your eyes will open. of coures just like anyother religion, theri are those who quite, and try to bring everyone down with them. if anyone is standing between me God, i will have no problem cutting you off, even if you are mom, dad, sister, or brother. becaue my mom cant give me everlasting peace,and i know no human can. for other that say she is a horrible person, you should think twice, theri are people in the bible that where even willing to kill their own family becasue of God.

  • Yawn

    Jehovah’s Witnesses leaders are lying false prophets. I am an ex-JW and I did much research and found out what false prophets they are. Over 100 false predictions. Jeremiah 28:1-17 shows it only takes one false propecy to be considered outright rebellion by God. Under the old testement law, Jehovah’s Witness leaders would have been stoned to death for their false predictions! The real reason they shun is because they realize anyone who researches to ‘test everything’ (1 Thess 5:21 ) will find out ehat false teachers they are and they don’t want to loose their brain-washed minions. Proverbs talks about the folly of men and the words of the Watchtower are pure folly and nonsense. I would give $1 million to any JW that can prove their leaders are not false prophets! I really don’t have a concern because there is no way they can be proven true. Google Jehovah’s Witnesses false propesies and you will see what I mean. I do feel sorry that so many people are decieved by cults and religion in general. i suppose if God deemed us worthy to know the real truth, He would see to it we would.

  • http://www.JehovahsWitnessBlog.com Andrew

    A sad story, and unfortunately one of many just like it. Thanks for sharing, and I am glad JWB helps you in some way in dealing with it.

  • Ro

    I am going to remain anonymous in order to protect my family from any JW tattle-trailers but feel compelled to share: I am not a JW, my husband is in body but not in mind. I met my husband several years ago who was newly divorced. His ex-wife, his two children and he were JW’s. By this time, he had already begun to question the doctrine of “the truth” wondering why the date of Armageddon had come and gone so many times and why the number of god’s chosen 144,000 kept changing. Upon meeting me; a feminist, independent woman with a bachelor degree and amazing career; I only further added to his doubts and misgivings about JW-land.
    We began dating, un-chaperoned as two grown up adults are wont to do. Over the following months, my husband-then boyfriend, began to fade from the JW ministry. He stopped going to meetings, stopped connecting with other JW’s and stopped following its literature. Peeved that her ex-husband had found someone new, the ex-wife reported on my husband to the elders. Several times the elders descended on my husband – calling his home to ask him to meet, showing up unexpectedly at his door, sending letters and all the while threatening with the wrath of the JW kingdom for the most heinous of crimes: adultery and fornication. When all of their attempts were unresponsive, they performed their last trick: over a phone call left on his answering machine, my husband was informed that he had been disfellowshipped.
    As a non JW I didn’t fully appreciate the impact this would have. I mistakenly thought we would have a new found freedom: no more harassing phone calls, no more door knockers, and best of all no more living the life as a JW. What I didn’t realize is that my husband’s children were fully indoctrinate into their truth and thereby erased their father from their lives. Their reasoning: they would not be in Jehovah’s blessing if they did not consider him to be dead. Obviously, this devastated my husband and he did all he could while disfellowshipped to try and have a relationship with his children; he bought them things, sent them money, attended all parent-school conferences, went to their special events, encouraged them, praised them and on and on and on. Despite all his efforts, his children eventually became baptised and whatever bit of their lives they allowed him, ceased.
    This was as much as he could handle, and broken realized he could only do one thing: return to the life of a JW. By now, several years had passed. My husband and I moved in together, made a commitment to each other, and lived our lives. However the one thing that hadn’t happened was us getting married. A feminist and a career woman with my own independent income, I felt no such need for a certificate to proclaim my relationship status. We are together forever by our own standards. This of course is not good enough for JW’s. The hypocrisy of an organization that shuns government and yet requires its members to pay for a government licence and produce a government issued certificate of marriage still causes me to shake my head.
    I had fought the battle against marriage for several years, refusing to allow a cult to form the basis of my relationship. But it was a losing battle. Worse, my husband couldn’t even invite his children to our wedding as he was disfellowshipped. So I agreed to get married. My husband started attending meetings where he was told to sit at the back of the room, was not spoken too and was looked through. The few times I attended with him I was disgusted by how fake-nice everyone was to me (while ignoring my husband) and even more disgusted by the talks which ranged from all women being dirty, stupid whores to all worldly people, especially Jews, being evil agents of Satan.
    After a year of going to meetings twice a week my husband felt he had demonstrated his servitude and pressed me to get married. Against everything a stood for, I agreed to a civil ceremony so my husband could show the elders our marriage certificate as proof that he was no longer a sinner. After a few meetings my husband asked an elder why there had been no further advancement to being reinstated. The elder advised that he needed to write a letter to the governing body repenting his sins and outlining his request to once again become a member of the JW Congregation. Feeling like this was an opportunity to silently dissent the Congregation, I wrote the letter, after doing some research online about what the Body of Elders likes to see and copy and pasting some choice phrases. Within a few weeks my husband was reinstated. Overnight, our phone was ringing with “old friends” wanting to reconnect, invites out to gatherings, and most importantly two children who wanted a dad again. I cautioned my husband on getting caught up in the relationships of these fair weather friends who were surely spying on us, peppering us with questions and trying to exclude us from our real friends (people who liked us for who were are, in good times and in bad). Of course, my anxieties went into overdrive, worried that my husband may be brainwashed back into truly believing their messages. Thankfully the Congregation ensured that my anxieties were unfounded as they continued to preach their messages of hate, doom, destruction and fear which enabled my husband to continue with is apostate (JW term for independent) line of thinking. Sadly, we are back to leading double lives. My husband pretending to be a good little JW who doesn’t celebrate holidays (we do), connect with worldly people (we do), participates in politics (we do). It’s taken us another year to slowly fade, which I realize is another delusion as one can never wholly fade away. And more unfortunate is the circumstances my husband will forever have with his children. They will marry JW spouses, they will bear JW children and they will forever be brainwashed. This cult is exactly that – a cult. It spews hate, discrimination and uses its tools to keep its people stupid and thoughtless. It especially hates women, education, Jews and anyone who doesn’t think like them. My feminist, socialist and Gaia-theology brain wants to rail against these sheep and rescue the women and children who live and grow in a culture that dooms them. I take solace in sites and blogs such as these, knowing that the JW membership is decreasing and more like minded individuals are fleeing at ever increasing rates. I applaud those who have found the courage and strength to leave and for all those who offer support and guidance. Like others, I use these sites as tools to strengthen my own resolve and that of my family.

  • jayjay love

    i would go without the life jacket. my son’s lives would be to precious. so young to young to die.

  • http://www.JehovahsWitnessBlog.com Andrew

    There’s nothing wrong with you – your mother is the one in the wrong here. Don’t forget that. To disown a child because they have a different opinion to you… religion makes otherwise good people do horrible things.

  • trusting poet

    This just breaks my heart on so many levels. It breaks my heart for David, and it hurts me from my own memories. I didn’t get a letter, but I got a phone call. “I’m sorry, but you made your choice and I just can’t have a relationship with you while your disfellowshipped. Maybe this is what I should have done from the beginning and you would have come back by now. You have to know there are consequences to not living your life the way Jehovah wants.”
    My own mother did not come to my baby shower, she did not come to the hospital to see her grandson… It hurts even now to think about it.
    She has started talking to me again just recently, but only if it has something to do with her grandchildren, and I know its only because she is hoping they will become Witnesses if she stays in contact with them and “teaches” them “the Truth”.
    As a mother I could never ever imagine cutting off one of my children, I would give up my last breath before I let someone or something separate us. I struggle to this day wondering what is so wrong with me that my own mother doesn’t love me…

  • johnny

    I have a question to any jws out there. Lets say you are in a ship that sank and you find yourself in a life boat with two of your sons, one is a jw the other is disfellowshipped. The boat is sinking theres only two life jackets and you are miles away from the nearest land.
    Which one out of the three of you is going to swim without a life jacket?

  • LynnC

    “…and to this end I deeply regret that I must terminate our relationship whilst you remain disfellowshipped.”

    The only way to terminate a relationship (physical, emotional) between a mother and a child is for one of these parties to actually not be living anymore. And even then, they are still related in terms of genetic factors.


  • Non JW Grandma

    My granddaughters are being raised by the other grandparents who are JW.

    I do notice the lack of empathy for others that I chalked up to young teenager attitude, but from what I have read, it may just be their JW training.

    Since I have little say in their day to day life, I just try to be open and let them know they have a safe landing place with me.

  • msteel

    This is how the Koreans got loyal US soldiers brainwashed into being committed communists. See how many things you notice.

    1. Become a true friend to this person. .
    2. Do nice things for them. give them gifts, priviledges, cigarettes, magazines, books to read etc..
    3. Have them agree with you on something small. Keep expanding little by little until they agree with you on something big..
    4. Show them how evil their government (world) is.
    5. Tell them about the “Real” solution. “The Truth”
    6. Use Punishment and reward . Use fear…lots of fear. Give them 2 choices. . One: Tremendous rewards for being obedient. Two: Dreaded punishment for not listening.
    7. Cut them off from all outside knollege. Control what they read, see on T.V. etc.
    8. Cut themselves off from all former associates. “Capitalist Americans” are wicked and evil.
    9. Have them commit them selves to the “Party” Have themselves commit thier whole hearts, souls, minds to the party’s Idealsparty spend all their free time in service to the “Party”
    10. Send them to the gulags if they ever speak out against the regime.

  • Amy

    Stupid F**king Bitch of a mother/human being!
    Well what do you expect from a brainwashed Jehovah’s Witness Cult member?

    If the son returned and later needed a blood transfusion, the mother would easily sacrifice him to her mythical watchtower god joeboobah.

    These assholes should not be allowed to breed!!!

  • Margot

    Recognizing one’s right to leave an organization does not address how the organization will treat it’s excommunicated. That statement from the spokesperson does not ask their followers not to do what she did to her son but it does indicate the group won’t prevent people from leaving.

  • http://www.Twitter/jchamner JC Hamner

    I agree about JW being a cult that causes much completely unnecessary dissention among families, as with religion in general, and Christianity in particular, but somewhat worse than most denominations. However, the part about the sports allegiances, however glib, makes you seem only a shade away in spirit. For my part, hearing such allegiances that stem from nationalism or other arbitrary things like local/family membership makes it really hard not to dismiss someone, thinking “What an idiot.” I didn’t write that to level an insult, but decided it was worth giving my persprective, in the same spirit as “Don’t go out in that hat, it makes you look stupid, and people will be thinking just that” especially when publicly talking about others’ barking mad choices of head covering.

  • http://www.JehovahsWitnessBlog.com Andrew

    It’s sad because this sort of thing is standard – it isn’t a one-off. I had this message from my step-mother (who had raised me from the age of about 3) in May 2011, after I told her I no longer believed in god:

    “If you had stopped being a witness for Jehovah, I would have always hoped and prayed for your faith to return, but as you no longer wish to be associated with the faith, you have made a statement against it.This is your choice, your life, your belief. Mine hasn’t changed, and therefore
    feel it necessary to not continue with our relationship. Please understand, this is what you believed also to be the right course once. I will always love that little boy I watched grow. And miss him terribly. Please ‘believe this’.

    Sickening, isn’t it!

  • Lacy

    JWs use absurd logic to justify actions such as this. First off, it is supposed to be an act of love according to them. If they cut you off from all your friends and family, it will punish you and you will want to return to the religion. When I was disfellowshipped, my dad originally supported that belief system. It only took a few weeks for him to change his mind. He said that if I was going to decide to come back to the religion just because I wanted to talk to my friends and family, then I would be going back for the wrong reasons. If I should choose to go back, it should be because I wanted to serve Jehovah and not for any other reason. I know it is earth-shattering to have a JW who thinks independently and makes sense! Luckily for him, the elders have so far no chosen to DF him for his horrifying rebellion. Of course, they may not know about it.
    Secondly, I have heard JWs say that it is not cruel or unloving to cut out loved ones from your lives if they leave the faith because Jehovah is going to kill them at Armageddon anyway. That’s like saying that if a loved one gets cancer and is going to die from it and the docs can’t do anything to help, we should automatically just stop seeing or speaking to that loved one. They are going to die so we might as well just treat them as dead now and get on with out lives. Why waste time spending every moment we can with them while they are alive? Who does that????

  • Ryan Okage

    She’s a horrible f*cking mother. She said she used to think she would die for her son. Now she’s focused on living forever while the son she’d “die for” will die alone in her eyes. A parent should be willing at any time to die for the cause of ensuring a better life for their child.

    She isn’t willing. Nor was she ever. It’s all semantics by this point. I am 27 with a 2 year old son. If I had to choose between living forever without my son and dying to save him, put the gun in my mouth now.

    Every single JW parent whose child is disfellowshipped would be doing Jehovah’s work by spending every waking minute ensuring their child is saved. Do they think associating with their own family in the effort to save them would be an unforgivable slight on God?

    Does being a selfish elitist concerned with eternal self preservation get you into paradise? If that’s the requirement, I’d like destruction of my soul now. Who would want to be on earth surrounded by assholes like that?

    She was clearly told by her elders to cut off communication. She kept saying no one told her to do it, but I can tell the situation went like this: the df’d son told her they would have her do it. She kept saying no. The elders told her to disassociate with him and like Witnesses would do, she had to lie to save face at the cost of her child’s well being.

  • DeRanged Jdub

    Who says WHILST ???? Other than a Shakespearean actor? Just say while.

  • http://www.dannyhaszard.com Danny Haszard

    Thanks for posting this experience.
    I can identify and share,the Watchtower is a high demand apocalyptic cult-like group.

    I left the Jehovah’s Witnesses when I determined that they are ‘not the truth’.Jesus did not return for his *invisible* second coming October 1914 and subsequently anoint the Watchtower a special commission.

    My own family is now required to shun me for exercising my freedom of beliefs to leave the JW.-Danny Haszard Bangor Maine