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Another Family Destroyed by Jehovah’s Witnesses

Submitted by Jaymes on November 5, 2010 - 10:08 am 57 Comments

How many more families are going to be torn apart by the Jehovah's Witnesses?I hate having to write articles like this. Honestly I do. When I have to write about a family being destroyed by Jehovah’s Witnesses, it breaks my heart. Therefore, when I received the email about the below family, I felt so angry and upset that nothing is really being done to stop this cult.

The below experience is true, although I have changed the names of the people involved so as to hide their identity. I can state that the following happened in the UK.

Richard and Gina are the loving parents within a Jehovah’s Witness family. Their two daughters, Nina (18 years of age) and Mary (17 years of age) were born in The Truth™, as were their parents, Richard and Gina. Richard is an elder and Gina has been pioneering for the past 12 years. Gina’s father, Bill, is a Circuit Overseer, and her mother, Rosemary, is a typical Circuit Overseer’s wife.

Even though both Nina and Mary have been going to the meetings all their life, they have both come to the decision that they do not want to be a part of the Jehovah’s Witness faith. Now, in any other religion, this may have been frowned upon, but I doubt the following would have taken place.

On Nina’s eighteenth birthday, she explains to her parents and to Mary that she no longer wants to be a part of the religion. She tells them all that she wants to live a normal life, go out on dates, go on holiday’s with her friends and be free from having to wake up on Saturday and Sunday morning for field service.

Richard and Gina are quite upset when their eldest daughter tells them that she no longer wants to be a Jehovah’s Witness, but they remain calm. Nina isn’t baptised and therefore her transition away from the Jehovah’s Witnesses shouldn’t be as hard as someone who is baptised. Richard begs Nina to reconsider and to promise them that she will think about it. Nina, being the great person she is, tells her parents that she will think about it.

That evening, Gina tells Richard to not discuss this with her parents. Richard tells Gina that if Nina is to stop being a Witness, his in-laws are bound to find out sooner or later and so it is best that he tells them. Gina is deeply upset at his decision.

The next day, Richard speaks with his mother-in-law, Rosemary. Upon hearing that her granddaughter wants nothing further to do with the Jehovah’s Witnesses, Rosemary gives her son-in-law, Richard, some sound advice.

“If Nina wants nothing further to do with Jehovah’s Organisation, it would be best for you to throw her out of the house and have nothing to do with her either. It is best that Nina be treated like any other disfellowshipped person. In the long term, Nina will come to see that you have done this because you love her.”

Richard has a dilemma on his hands. Before he can tell his wife, Gina, what advice her mother has given him, his father-in-law calls him up and says the following:

“Hi Richard. Rosemary has told me the situation regarding Nina. I had a feeling it would come to this. I did warn you, didn’t I? When our Gina was 12, we urged her to get baptised, and she did. She dedicated her life to Jehovah at such a young age and has not looked back since. We explained how important it was to make sure your daughters were baptised at a young age, but you didn’t take the advice seriously. If Nina and Mary had been baptised now, they would have had second thoughts about leaving the Organisation. They know what it means to be disfellowshipped and trust me Richard, they wouldn’t have even thought to leave the Organisation if they had been baptised. Anyway, there is nothing we can do about her decision to no longer be a Jehovah’s Witness, but I do stand by the advice given to you by Rosemary. Nina cannot think she’s gotten away with it so easily. You have to treat her as being disfellowshipped, which means cutting her off completely. I also don’t have to remind you what the after effects could be on your position in the Organisation if you don’t treat her as such?”

When Richard got home, he spoke with Gina and explained everything that her parents had told him. He told her that he had made the decision to kick Nina out of the house that very night if she had decided to stick to her decision. Gina was distraught at the idea that her little girl would be cut-off. Where would she go? What would she do? Gina begged Richard to not take the advice of his in-laws. Richard told her that his decision was final.

When Nina came home, Richard asked for a family meeting. In the living room, Richard asked Nina if she had decided what life she wanted to lead; either a loving one in God’s Organisation, or a life in Satan’s system. Nina tried to explain that she didn’t view it like that all, but had decided that she no longer wanted to be a Jehovah’s Witness. Upon hearing this, Richard said the following:

“Nina, as your father, I do not respect nor value your decision. Both your mother and I have decided that you are no longer welcome to stay in the family home any longer. Please go upstairs and pack your stuff now. We want you out within three hours.”

Nina sat there in shock. Gina and Mary started to cry. Richard gave a look of disgust towards his daughter Nina and then left the room.

Nina left that night. She has been living in a bed sit since. Gina has been providing her money and helping her secretly.

The biggest impact on all of this has been Mary. In the last two weeks, she has attempted suicide by overdosing on pain killers.

At the hospital where she had been admitted, Richard’s in-laws came to visit. Gina said very little. Nina was in the room with Mary and because of her presence, her grandparents remained outside, not wanting to be infected by her insolence.

Turning to Richard, Rosemary said:

“This is all so terrible Richard. I understand that Mary also doesn’t want to continue as a Witness? Well, there’s nothing I can say other than tell you what you already know. The New System is right around the corner. When this world becomes a paradise, you will have soon forgotten about Nina and Mary. Jehovah will bless Gina and yourself with new children, perfect children that love you both, but above all, love and serve Jehovah”.

As I said above, I have changed the names of the people involved in this terrible and tragic experience. Gina has emailed me the information.

Now, I don’t care what reasons any Jehovah’s Witness can come up with for condoning this behaviour. It is sick, it is cultish and I repeat, it is sick.

Gina has told me that she is seeking legal advice about getting a divorce. She has told me that Richard is unmovable in his stance. He knows that if he doesn’t treat Nina as a disfellowshipped person, he risks being demoted from his lofty position as an elder in the congregation.

This story has moved me so much, that I have just ordered the Steven Hassan book,Combatting Cult Mind Control: The #1 Best-selling Guide to Protection, Rescue, and Recovery from Destructive Cults, for Gina to read.

If anyone had the slightest doubt that the Jehovah’s Witness faith isn’t a cult, I think your idea of them now may have changed somewhat.

They make me sick. Oh, and for the love of God, don’t even dare come on here and say that the above experience was an extreme one and that it doesn’t happen.

Sick sick sick sick cult!

  • Melissa Weedman

    I would like to suggest a book that has helped me TREMENDOUSLY, “Take back your life” by Janja Lalich and Madeleine Tobias. I did try to read the book you ordered, but my mind could not handle it at the time. The book, “Take Back Your Life’ helped me get through what the JW”S did to me as I was born and raised in that cult. YES, THEY ARE A CULT. This book explains what a cult is and how to recover. Also, contacting ICSAhome.com, reading articles and attending workshops through International Cultic Studies Association has been so healing. I pray they heal and recover.

  • John

    After reading a lot of the stories of x JW’s defecting it doesn’t shock me or suprise me it just saddens me that people got stuck in a cult rut and then just tried to leave peacefully. Now think about it was anyone of those JW’s displaying love of god or neighbor when they kicked out this traumatized teenager? How very sad and sick on their part that they would put the mentality of a organization above gods own word. They don’t know the real meaning of putting one outside God’s congregation and how paul applied it to first century christians. people were disfellowshiped because they didn’t agee with the teachings of Jesus Christ not some 12 men sitting up in a ivory tower who haven’t the first clue about raising kid’s. What’s even more disgusting to me is how this father could treat his own flesh and blood with such callousness. This is a selfishly oriented religion always about me me me and full of self pity for oneself. All these adults were trying to do is save themselves from there supposed good upbringing that they thought they did from making them look bad in the eyes of fellow witness’s. In the end it’s all about mind control and saving face. I am so happy 2 of my 3 grown adult children have left such a deabilitating cult in order to really preserve the rest of their lives. They are better for it and have not fallen for the trap that holds such weak minded individuals to that religion. They live happy and fruitful lives not always blaming everyone else for their problems but effectively see life for what it really is. They accept responsability for their actions good or bad and learn to be happy withen themselves. I really am happy for this girl who left. My brother left at 14 and never looked back and has a wonderful loving family to show for it. In the end its those parents and grandparents who do not deserve the love of this young sensible teenager. They should take a lesson from her for making a stand for the real Truth about this false religion that has claimed so many lives in the name of God. They are the stupid ones. They are disloyal to their own flesh and blood. In the end she was merely denouncing her faith in a corrupted organized man made religion not Jesus Christ and his teachings. John 14:6 tells us that Jesus is the way and the “TRUTH” not some man made religion that came almost 1900 years after Jesus came to preach the good news to all mankind. AS the bible tells us God will Judge those who are judging You. I am happy this girl has reclaimed her life and hopefully by her example many others will do as well. May Peace be upon her.

  • Nancy

    Thank you so much for your reply and sites. I am printing them to send on to him.

  • http://www.JehovahsWitnessBlog.com Steve

    Hi Nancy,

    I’m so sorry that you’ve experienced the loss of a fiance due to his being sucked into the Watchtower religion.

    You have to understand that this is a cult, and as such arguing over Scriptures will most likely be futile. They have answers for everything, and even though they appear as very poor answers to those outside of the cult, they are sufficient for those whose minds are already controlled.

    But if he only has one foot in the door so far, here are some very simple online things you might get him to look at:
    http://smmcroberts.net/blog/quiz-jehovah-or-the-watchtower/
    http://smmcroberts.net/religion/fundamentalism/watchtower/course/truth/index.html

    Or, if it has to be printed:
    http://smmcroberts.net/religion/fundamentalism/watchtower/whynotbejw.html

  • Nancy

    Hi, my head is still spinning from the JW and their influence on my now ex fiance. Three years ago after his mother died, my fiance started questioning his beliefs. Not wanting him to give up on God I encouraged him to keep his faith. For one reason or another he started slipping from church and I invited him to mine which he did attend a few times. He went back to his church and last winter started complaining again. I guess I got used to his complaints and didn’t pay much attention, telling him he could come to my church or that together we could check out some of the churches in town and I would go till he found one he felt comfortable in. He went with me where I attend a few times and then went back to his church. That’s where I thought he was going till a few weeks ago. A little over a month ago I was over his house for the day. We had a relaxing Saturday together and when I left that night it was with plans for me to make a special dinner the following Friday for us. When I called Thursday to remind him he said he wasn’t coming and would talk to me later. I called a few times but he always cut me short and so we never really talked. A month later I was confused so went by where he worked when he went to lunch. At first he didn’t say much, it took him a while to tell me that he was going to Kingdom Hall and that when he was younger he went there till he got involved with drugs. I knew he had been JW when he was younger and had done drugs, but he was in his twenties then, he is in his sixties now so I didn’t have any reason to even think that was what was going on now. I was shocked to say the least, I knew a bit about JW but not much and never gave them much thought. It finally came out that God told him that I wasn’t for him and that we had to end our relationship, our engagement. I was confused and hurt and just walked away without saying anything to him. A week later we ran into each other and I agree to talk to him. Yesterday I went to his house and one thing he wanted was for me to agree to meet with some of the JW. I refused. I found out he had been going to the church since January and that he would soon be starting doing the door to door recruiting. This man used to be a baptist preacher!! I had found a few things on internet to take with me to show him but not much that I could really understand in simple layman’s terms. I showed him how they believe that Jesus died on a stake and not a cross and he said that he believed the cross but that somehow he also died on a stake and seemed unsure of answer when I questioned him. We talked about how JW believes the spirit ceases to exist at death and he tried to show me in Bible where the spirit goes back to God. I tried to get him to see that didn’t mean it ceased to being when it went back and he sounded so confused as he tried to explain it to me and also when I brought up false prophecy of world ending and how if it was really from God that the WT wouldn’t have gotten it wrong, that for it to be wrong that it was a false prophecy. He claims that something did happen in 1914 (I think the year) but wasn’t sure what it was. He did admit that there was some things he had trouble meshing with what he believes now so I am hoping that there is still some hope but not sure how to proceed. I have talked to my Pastor and will try to get another Pastor that may be able to talk to him. I am still growing and I will be honest when I say I have a hard time reading the Bible and understanding it. I have taught Sunday School and honestly easier for me to learn from that level and understand. We all learn in our own way and grow. The thing is apparently my ex is the same way when it comes to understanding the Bible, it has to be done almost as talking to a child. Is there any pamphlets or books that anyone can recommend that I could send on to him? At this point I am not wanting to see or talk to him as I feel betrayed and yes I’m hurt and angry but my being doesn’t feel right not to try to save him from this cult.

  • lulu

    My family has been destroyed by JWS. Divorce is ensuing. One spouse has accussed the other of abuse. The same spouse has perjured themself already and signed documents that are lies. One spouse is “locked up.” The other has taken everything including the children and gone home to the JW grandmother.. THe guilty spouse was disfellowshipped more than ten years ago. No help could come from the parents or the money backing the ex-JW unless some sort of abuse was accussed. I am the non JW grandmother and I have raised these children since birth. My grandchildren have been told lies about all of the non-jw family indluding myself (I am bad and I am going to die cause I am not a JW and they will not go to Heaven unless they go to JW) I have not seen my grandchildren in months and am told I will never see them again. Why?When the JWS came to my home that I shared with all of the above family I would not let them in until the police arrived as I feared for my safety. The jws above are also “violent.” I was assaulted and sent to the ER. Why not put names or genders? I am afraid all the time. My family who are non-jws have had their lives threatned by the JWS. My heart is broken. I did not know about this kind of experience. The non-fellowshipped spouse has gone home and now has all the support of the jws. including their money. I ask:Am I gonna have to wait for my young grandchildren who are both under ten to grow up to maybe see them again. I can tell you that as a result of my ex disfellowshipped child-in-law’s upbringing and sexual molestion he/she has alot of emotional issues and has resorted to attempted suicide three times that I know of. I went thru CHemo and multiple surgeries as a result of cancer recently but it does not hold a candle to having my family split apart. I thought a person’s faith was to bring togetherness and love. My God is a loving God and does not permit me to lie or cheat or steal or hit someone almost killing them. No one can convince me that JW is not a cult. No one can convince me that their beliefs are healthy. I know first-hand. Best wishes to all those who are struggling including my family.

  • David

    I was a Witness for many years when I was younger. You think they are so peachy clean? Bullcrap. The only ones that got any respect were the ones that had the most money. Their children could be little devils and nothing was ever done to stop them, And as for some of their adults, how about going out and drinking it up after Thursday night meetings at the pizza place. I actually became an alcoholic from being with them. Now I have to fight this the rest of my life. I NEVER had a drink in my life until I joined the Witness cult. And they do shun you completely if you leave their so called RIGHT religion. Been there , done that as they say. Now my life is a hell everyday. And as for their ideas on sexual matters, it’s crazy , they say you will be destroyed if you masturbate. When I finally met my lovely wife I thank her for getting me past my sexual hang ups from all the brain washing I received. Avoid these people, they are dangerous.