Are Jehovah’s Witnesses Superstitious?

It’s Friday the 13th! Superstition holds this day to be one of bad luck, so you’d better watch out. Anything could happen today – perhaps you’ll read some articles on Jehovahs Witness Blog and realize you are in a dangerous cult!

What do Jehovah’s Witnesses think about superstitions? Do they believe any? Well, let’s take a look at the official stance of the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society.

The August 1st 2002 Watchtower in the article “Life Under the Control of Superstition” states: “A person who lets superstition affect his decisions and daily routine is allowing himself to be dominated by something he does not really understand. Is this wise?”

Later in the series of articles, the Watchtower goes on to make a connection between superstitions being the devils work – “Given the dangerous aspects of superstition, it is relevant to ask: Who is actually being served by superstitious beliefs and practices?” Well, they don’t take long to name and shame Satan.

The articles also make the point that “The Bible shows that time and unforeseen events befall us all, whether we are superstitious or not. (Ecclesiastes 9:11)” Also, “Accurate knowledge of Jehovah and his purposes—the opposite of ignorance and superstition—is the key to gaining true protection.”

So do Jehovah’s Witnesses practice what they preach? Are they superstitious? Actually, yes, they are and here is a list of common superstitious behavior that Jehovah’s Witnesses in general carry out. In my 25 years as a Jehovah’s Witness, I’ve heard all of these. Let us know what you’ve heard in the comments.

1. Smurfs are bad.
2. Be careful when you get anything second hand from a thrift store or garage sale because it might be possessed by demons.
3. If you stop thinking, it opens the door for demons to take over your mind.
4. Women have one more rib than men (Okay, this isn’t a superstition, but it is funny anyway).
5. If you use Tarot cards or Ouija boards, the demons appear and influence you.
6. Put old Watchtowers and Awakes under the bed in order that demons will not come out.
7. Satan changes the traffic lights to red just to make you late for meetings.
8. If you encounter evil, shouting “Jehovah” out loud will make the demons fly away covering their ears.
9. Jehovah doesn’t let anyone name their children or pets ‘Jehovah’, but kills them on the spot.
10. It upsets Jehovah if you say “Good luck.”
11. You aren’t allowed to say “bless you” after someone sneezes because it is pagan.
12. When you go preaching, Angels are walking with you.
13. If your bible study is smoking a cigarette, the holy spirit won’t help you.
14. You shouldn’t say personal prayers out loud because then Satan will know your weaknesses.
15. Don’t masturbate or it’ll turn you into a homosexual.
16. Jehovah hates it if you fall asleep in the middle of a prayer.
17. UFOs are demons tricking humans!
18. Don’t listen to Hotel California backwards because there are demon messages in it!
19. If you get a strange urge to knock on a door when you are on the ministry, it’s because the householder is praying for it.
20. People’s personalities change after blood transfusions.
21. The internet is evil.

So are Jehovah’s Witnesses superstitious? I think this long list proves they are! Now, I’m off to walk under a ladder and break a mirror.