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A Letter from a Jehovah’s Witness Mother
Submitted by Teeny on June 21, 2012 - 12:33 pm 18 Comments
The JWB tagline is “The Funny Side of being a Jehovah’s Witness”. However, we do realise that a lot of the time, the Jehovah’s Witness cult harms and destroys families as well as the well-being of individuals who are simply trying to survive in this world.
I found a letter from a Jehovah’s Witness mother, sent to her disfellowshipped son, David, on the net and contacted David, asking for his permission to write an article about the letter his mother sent him. David allowed us to air the letter.
I transcribed it last night and as I was doing this, I felt the pit of my stomach ache. Not because I was hungry, but because the Jehovah’s Witness religion can actually remove instincts that should be natural to most mothers and fathers.
My darling son David
You are so very special to me and have always been the love of my life. I used to think when you were little that I would die for you, and live because of you. You meant the world to me and I will always love you very much.
Because of this love, I always wanted you to have the happiest, safest life I could provide and tried to bring you up with the strongly held beliefs I lived by, in the hope that this would affect your own life for the good, and ultimately you would live forever in paradise on earth. You know all this to be the case.
This is the first page. Click to expand it.
I personally have always believed in The Truth as presented in the Bible, and have always felt the strong presence of Jehovah God and Jesus in my life, even as a child. I have always believed the prophesies in the Bible, and that there will be a paradise on earth in which everyone will live in peace and love with no war, sickness and death, and that the dead will be resurrected due to Jehovah’s justice and fairness. I have always lived my life with all this in view, and have never sought a worldly, secular career or pathway. Becoming one of Jehovah’s Witnesses was the obvious next step for me.
This letter is being written by me with no outside coercion or influence because there are things I want to say to you.
Being in The Truth has never been easy, but when all is said and done, I am in it because of my belief in Jehovah, and what he has done for us, and will yet do.
People will always let you down, and somehow we have to look above and beyond, at the bigger picture. So to say that some people who profess to be Christians live in ways that show them to be hypocrites is no exaggeration. But I strongly feel that whilst they may fool themselves, and others, they can’t fool Jehovah, and “it is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the Living God.”
I have chosen my path and my way of life and so I must live by the commands and statutes laid down in the Bible by Jehovah himself. One of these commands has been the cause of great stress and grief to me, and I have put it off for too long now. I realise that I would have benefited spiritually by doing things Jehovah’s way from the start, and I must emphasise that what I am about to say to you is not influenced by any other living person, but is purely directed by my conscience and a desire to regain my peaceful friendship with God. Nobody can make me do anything I don’t want to do.
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While this is singularly the most painful thing I have ever had to do in my entire life, I need to move forwards towards the goal of everlasting life, and to this end I deeply regret that I must terminate our relationship whilst you remain disfellowshipped.
I have cried myself dry over this situation, and it has broken my heart, but David, you have known that it should have been handled this way from the start. You have chosen your path in life, and I wish you all the best. I want you to know that not only will my love always be there for you, but Jehovah too is waiting with open arms for your return.
Your loving mother, now and forever.
Now that you’ve read that, how do you feel? Can you see how the Jehovah’s Witness religion is in fact a cult? I do not know David’s mother, but I think I am right in my assumption in saying that if David had decided to stop supporting Tottenham Hotspur and turned his allegiances to Arsenal, his mother wouldn’t have cut him off. Actually, that’s a bad example, for if I had a son or daughter who stopped supporting Spurs and decided to become an Arsenal fan, I think I would cut them off. I am digressing again.
My point is that it’s not natural for a mother to want to cut off her son just because he doesn’t follow the same belief system as she does. But that’s exactly what has happened here and it really does sicken me.
So for all those Jehovah’s Witness apologists out there who claim that the Watchtower Society doesn’t shun ex-Jehovah’s Witnesses, I think this letter shows that that isn’t the case. Although Rick Fenton, the Watchtower Society’s spokesperson in England, said the following:
“It’s a personal matter for each individual to decide for himself if they no longer want to be a Jehovah’s Witness. Any one of Jehovah’s Witnesses is free to express their feelings and to ask questions. If a person changes their mind about Bible-based teachings they once held dear, we recognise their right to leave.”
Looks like Mrs. Reekie didn’t get the memo…
You can follow David’s posts on his blog and we encourage you all to show him your magnificent JWB support!
A Letter from a Jehovah's Witness Mother,15 Comments
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- Maria Rodriguez: Well said! I particularly like number Zero: all the times that they’ve been right. This is a real...
- Sheila: Wow I’m pretty sure you’re heart would be as cold as ice if I could see it in the abyss that...
- Barinthus: Oh as for “using subtitles.” Unfortunately due to how our legal framework is set up, many Deaf...
- Barinthus: A bit late to the party. I’m Deaf and native ASL user. To clarify, the signs used in this video is...
- hannah: The witnesses are an cultic group and an occult.anyone who is controlling and judgemental and they are in the...
I can identify and share,the Watchtower is a high demand apocalyptic cult-like group.
I left the Jehovah’s Witnesses when I determined that they are ‘not the truth’.Jesus did not return for his *invisible* second coming October 1914 and subsequently anoint the Watchtower a special commission.
My own family is now required to shun me for exercising my freedom of beliefs to leave the JW.-Danny Haszard Bangor Maine
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She isn’t willing. Nor was she ever. It’s all semantics by this point. I am 27 with a 2 year old son. If I had to choose between living forever without my son and dying to save him, put the gun in my mouth now.
Every single JW parent whose child is disfellowshipped would be doing Jehovah’s work by spending every waking minute ensuring their child is saved. Do they think associating with their own family in the effort to save them would be an unforgivable slight on God?
Does being a selfish elitist concerned with eternal self preservation get you into paradise? If that’s the requirement, I’d like destruction of my soul now. Who would want to be on earth surrounded by assholes like that?
She was clearly told by her elders to cut off communication. She kept saying no one told her to do it, but I can tell the situation went like this: the df’d son told her they would have her do it. She kept saying no. The elders told her to disassociate with him and like Witnesses would do, she had to lie to save face at the cost of her child’s well being.
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Secondly, I have heard JWs say that it is not cruel or unloving to cut out loved ones from your lives if they leave the faith because Jehovah is going to kill them at Armageddon anyway. That’s like saying that if a loved one gets cancer and is going to die from it and the docs can’t do anything to help, we should automatically just stop seeing or speaking to that loved one. They are going to die so we might as well just treat them as dead now and get on with out lives. Why waste time spending every moment we can with them while they are alive? Who does that????
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Andrew Reply:
June 22nd, 2012 at 8:14 am
“If you had stopped being a witness for Jehovah, I would have always hoped and prayed for your faith to return, but as you no longer wish to be associated with the faith, you have made a statement against it.This is your choice, your life, your belief. Mine hasn’t changed, and therefore
feel it necessary to not continue with our relationship. Please understand, this is what you believed also to be the right course once. I will always love that little boy I watched grow. And miss him terribly. Please ‘believe this’.
Sickening, isn’t it!
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Well what do you expect from a brainwashed Jehovah’s Witness Cult member?
If the son returned and later needed a blood transfusion, the mother would easily sacrifice him to her mythical watchtower god joeboobah.
These assholes should not be allowed to breed!!!
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1. Become a true friend to this person. .
2. Do nice things for them. give them gifts, priviledges, cigarettes, magazines, books to read etc..
3. Have them agree with you on something small. Keep expanding little by little until they agree with you on something big..
4. Show them how evil their government (world) is.
5. Tell them about the “Real” solution. “The Truth”
6. Use Punishment and reward . Use fear…lots of fear. Give them 2 choices. . One: Tremendous rewards for being obedient. Two: Dreaded punishment for not listening.
7. Cut them off from all outside knollege. Control what they read, see on T.V. etc.
8. Cut themselves off from all former associates. “Capitalist Americans” are wicked and evil.
9. Have them commit them selves to the “Party” Have themselves commit thier whole hearts, souls, minds to the party’s Idealsparty spend all their free time in service to the “Party”
10. Send them to the gulags if they ever speak out against the regime.
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I do notice the lack of empathy for others that I chalked up to young teenager attitude, but from what I have read, it may just be their JW training.
Since I have little say in their day to day life, I just try to be open and let them know they have a safe landing place with me.
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The only way to terminate a relationship (physical, emotional) between a mother and a child is for one of these parties to actually not be living anymore. And even then, they are still related in terms of genetic factors.
Good.grief…
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Which one out of the three of you is going to swim without a life jacket?
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My own mother did not come to my baby shower, she did not come to the hospital to see her grandson… It hurts even now to think about it.
She has started talking to me again just recently, but only if it has something to do with her grandchildren, and I know its only because she is hoping they will become Witnesses if she stays in contact with them and “teaches” them “the Truth”.
As a mother I could never ever imagine cutting off one of my children, I would give up my last breath before I let someone or something separate us. I struggle to this day wondering what is so wrong with me that my own mother doesn’t love me…
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Andrew Reply:
August 28th, 2012 at 7:31 am
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We began dating, un-chaperoned as two grown up adults are wont to do. Over the following months, my husband-then boyfriend, began to fade from the JW ministry. He stopped going to meetings, stopped connecting with other JW’s and stopped following its literature. Peeved that her ex-husband had found someone new, the ex-wife reported on my husband to the elders. Several times the elders descended on my husband – calling his home to ask him to meet, showing up unexpectedly at his door, sending letters and all the while threatening with the wrath of the JW kingdom for the most heinous of crimes: adultery and fornication. When all of their attempts were unresponsive, they performed their last trick: over a phone call left on his answering machine, my husband was informed that he had been disfellowshipped.
As a non JW I didn’t fully appreciate the impact this would have. I mistakenly thought we would have a new found freedom: no more harassing phone calls, no more door knockers, and best of all no more living the life as a JW. What I didn’t realize is that my husband’s children were fully indoctrinate into their truth and thereby erased their father from their lives. Their reasoning: they would not be in Jehovah’s blessing if they did not consider him to be dead. Obviously, this devastated my husband and he did all he could while disfellowshipped to try and have a relationship with his children; he bought them things, sent them money, attended all parent-school conferences, went to their special events, encouraged them, praised them and on and on and on. Despite all his efforts, his children eventually became baptised and whatever bit of their lives they allowed him, ceased.
This was as much as he could handle, and broken realized he could only do one thing: return to the life of a JW. By now, several years had passed. My husband and I moved in together, made a commitment to each other, and lived our lives. However the one thing that hadn’t happened was us getting married. A feminist and a career woman with my own independent income, I felt no such need for a certificate to proclaim my relationship status. We are together forever by our own standards. This of course is not good enough for JW’s. The hypocrisy of an organization that shuns government and yet requires its members to pay for a government licence and produce a government issued certificate of marriage still causes me to shake my head.
I had fought the battle against marriage for several years, refusing to allow a cult to form the basis of my relationship. But it was a losing battle. Worse, my husband couldn’t even invite his children to our wedding as he was disfellowshipped. So I agreed to get married. My husband started attending meetings where he was told to sit at the back of the room, was not spoken too and was looked through. The few times I attended with him I was disgusted by how fake-nice everyone was to me (while ignoring my husband) and even more disgusted by the talks which ranged from all women being dirty, stupid whores to all worldly people, especially Jews, being evil agents of Satan.
After a year of going to meetings twice a week my husband felt he had demonstrated his servitude and pressed me to get married. Against everything a stood for, I agreed to a civil ceremony so my husband could show the elders our marriage certificate as proof that he was no longer a sinner. After a few meetings my husband asked an elder why there had been no further advancement to being reinstated. The elder advised that he needed to write a letter to the governing body repenting his sins and outlining his request to once again become a member of the JW Congregation. Feeling like this was an opportunity to silently dissent the Congregation, I wrote the letter, after doing some research online about what the Body of Elders likes to see and copy and pasting some choice phrases. Within a few weeks my husband was reinstated. Overnight, our phone was ringing with “old friends” wanting to reconnect, invites out to gatherings, and most importantly two children who wanted a dad again. I cautioned my husband on getting caught up in the relationships of these fair weather friends who were surely spying on us, peppering us with questions and trying to exclude us from our real friends (people who liked us for who were are, in good times and in bad). Of course, my anxieties went into overdrive, worried that my husband may be brainwashed back into truly believing their messages. Thankfully the Congregation ensured that my anxieties were unfounded as they continued to preach their messages of hate, doom, destruction and fear which enabled my husband to continue with is apostate (JW term for independent) line of thinking. Sadly, we are back to leading double lives. My husband pretending to be a good little JW who doesn’t celebrate holidays (we do), connect with worldly people (we do), participates in politics (we do). It’s taken us another year to slowly fade, which I realize is another delusion as one can never wholly fade away. And more unfortunate is the circumstances my husband will forever have with his children. They will marry JW spouses, they will bear JW children and they will forever be brainwashed. This cult is exactly that – a cult. It spews hate, discrimination and uses its tools to keep its people stupid and thoughtless. It especially hates women, education, Jews and anyone who doesn’t think like them. My feminist, socialist and Gaia-theology brain wants to rail against these sheep and rescue the women and children who live and grow in a culture that dooms them. I take solace in sites and blogs such as these, knowing that the JW membership is decreasing and more like minded individuals are fleeing at ever increasing rates. I applaud those who have found the courage and strength to leave and for all those who offer support and guidance. Like others, I use these sites as tools to strengthen my own resolve and that of my family.
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Andrew Reply:
December 23rd, 2012 at 11:17 am
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