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Another Family Destroyed by Jehovah’s Witnesses
Submitted by Teeny on November 5, 2010 - 10:08 am 54 Comments
I hate having to write articles like this. Honestly I do. When I have to write about a family being destroyed by Jehovah’s Witnesses, it breaks my heart. Therefore, when I received the email about the below family, I felt so angry and upset that nothing is really being done to stop this cult.
The below experience is true, although I have changed the names of the people involved so as to hide their identity. I can state that the following happened in the UK.
Richard and Gina are the loving parents within a Jehovah’s Witness family. Their two daughters, Nina (18 years of age) and Mary (17 years of age) were born in The Truth™, as were their parents, Richard and Gina. Richard is an elder and Gina has been pioneering for the past 12 years. Gina’s father, Bill, is a Circuit Overseer, and her mother, Rosemary, is a typical Circuit Overseer’s wife.
Even though both Nina and Mary have been going to the meetings all their life, they have both come to the decision that they do not want to be a part of the Jehovah’s Witness faith. Now, in any other religion, this may have been frowned upon, but I doubt the following would have taken place.
On Nina’s eighteenth birthday, she explains to her parents and to Mary that she no longer wants to be a part of the religion. She tells them all that she wants to live a normal life, go out on dates, go on holiday’s with her friends and be free from having to wake up on Saturday and Sunday morning for field service.
Richard and Gina are quite upset when their eldest daughter tells them that she no longer wants to be a Jehovah’s Witness, but they remain calm. Nina isn’t baptised and therefore her transition away from the Jehovah’s Witnesses shouldn’t be as hard as someone who is baptised. Richard begs Nina to reconsider and to promise them that she will think about it. Nina, being the great person she is, tells her parents that she will think about it.
That evening, Gina tells Richard to not discuss this with her parents. Richard tells Gina that if Nina is to stop being a Witness, his in-laws are bound to find out sooner or later and so it is best that he tells them. Gina is deeply upset at his decision.
The next day, Richard speaks with his mother-in-law, Rosemary. Upon hearing that her granddaughter wants nothing further to do with the Jehovah’s Witnesses, Rosemary gives her son-in-law, Richard, some sound advice.
“If Nina wants nothing further to do with Jehovah’s Organisation, it would be best for you to throw her out of the house and have nothing to do with her either. It is best that Nina be treated like any other disfellowshipped person. In the long term, Nina will come to see that you have done this because you love her.”
Richard has a dilemma on his hands. Before he can tell his wife, Gina, what advice her mother has given him, his father-in-law calls him up and says the following:
“Hi Richard. Rosemary has told me the situation regarding Nina. I had a feeling it would come to this. I did warn you, didn’t I? When our Gina was 12, we urged her to get baptised, and she did. She dedicated her life to Jehovah at such a young age and has not looked back since. We explained how important it was to make sure your daughters were baptised at a young age, but you didn’t take the advice seriously. If Nina and Mary had been baptised now, they would have had second thoughts about leaving the Organisation. They know what it means to be disfellowshipped and trust me Richard, they wouldn’t have even thought to leave the Organisation if they had been baptised. Anyway, there is nothing we can do about her decision to no longer be a Jehovah’s Witness, but I do stand by the advice given to you by Rosemary. Nina cannot think she’s gotten away with it so easily. You have to treat her as being disfellowshipped, which means cutting her off completely. I also don’t have to remind you what the after effects could be on your position in the Organisation if you don’t treat her as such?”
When Richard got home, he spoke with Gina and explained everything that her parents had told him. He told her that he had made the decision to kick Nina out of the house that very night if she had decided to stick to her decision. Gina was distraught at the idea that her little girl would be cut-off. Where would she go? What would she do? Gina begged Richard to not take the advice of his in-laws. Richard told her that his decision was final.
When Nina came home, Richard asked for a family meeting. In the living room, Richard asked Nina if she had decided what life she wanted to lead; either a loving one in God’s Organisation, or a life in Satan’s system. Nina tried to explain that she didn’t view it like that all, but had decided that she no longer wanted to be a Jehovah’s Witness. Upon hearing this, Richard said the following:
“Nina, as your father, I do not respect nor value your decision. Both your mother and I have decided that you are no longer welcome to stay in the family home any longer. Please go upstairs and pack your stuff now. We want you out within three hours.”
Nina sat there in shock. Gina and Mary started to cry. Richard gave a look of disgust towards his daughter Nina and then left the room.
Nina left that night. She has been living in a bed sit since. Gina has been providing her money and helping her secretly.
The biggest impact on all of this has been Mary. In the last two weeks, she has attempted suicide by overdosing on pain killers.
At the hospital where she had been admitted, Richard’s in-laws came to visit. Gina said very little. Nina was in the room with Mary and because of her presence, her grandparents remained outside, not wanting to be infected by her insolence.
Turning to Richard, Rosemary said:
“This is all so terrible Richard. I understand that Mary also doesn’t want to continue as a Witness? Well, there’s nothing I can say other than tell you what you already know. The New System is right around the corner. When this world becomes a paradise, you will have soon forgotten about Nina and Mary. Jehovah will bless Gina and yourself with new children, perfect children that love you both, but above all, love and serve Jehovah”.
As I said above, I have changed the names of the people involved in this terrible and tragic experience. Gina has emailed me the information.
Now, I don’t care what reasons any Jehovah’s Witness can come up with for condoning this behaviour. It is sick, it is cultish and I repeat, it is sick.
Gina has told me that she is seeking legal advice about getting a divorce. She has told me that Richard is unmovable in his stance. He knows that if he doesn’t treat Nina as a disfellowshipped person, he risks being demoted from his lofty position as an elder in the congregation.
This story has moved me so much, that I have just ordered the Steven Hassan book,Combatting Cult Mind Control: The #1 Best-selling Guide to Protection, Rescue, and Recovery from Destructive Cults, for Gina to read.
If anyone had the slightest doubt that the Jehovah’s Witness faith isn’t a cult, I think your idea of them now may have changed somewhat.
They make me sick. Oh, and for the love of God, don’t even dare come on here and say that the above experience was an extreme one and that it doesn’t happen.
Sick sick sick sick cult!
Another Family Destroyed by Jehovah's Witnesses,25 Comments
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- Steve: Hi Nancy, I’m so sorry that you’ve experienced the loss of a fiance due to his being sucked into...
- Steve: Hi Amelia, Yes, I’m sure your story will help others to see the consequences of following this religion....
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- Amelia: My name is Amelia Gonzalez, I am now 16 .Being a witness for 13 years . I never realized how much Jehovah...
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Andrew Reply:
July 12th, 2012 at 8:37 am
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I lost my daughter for 10 years because of their shunning policy. I decided to go back in to be a member only to go undercover and rescue her.
This is my book that tells my 2 year journey to rescue her. “Going Undercover To Rescue My Daughter, From The Cult of Jehovah’s Witnesses”.
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Interestingly, the events that lead up to the disfellowshipping announcement were that I stopped going to meetings and read Steven Hassan’s book. I had no idea that was a disfellowshipping offence.
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Andrew Reply:
July 12th, 2012 at 8:35 am
Yep. Disgusting how they treat ex members like us.
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Brandon Reply:
July 12th, 2012 at 10:47 pm
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Sunny Martin Reply:
July 12th, 2012 at 11:11 pm
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Brandon Reply:
July 12th, 2012 at 11:51 pm
Sunny Martin Reply:
July 13th, 2012 at 12:02 am
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Brandon Reply:
July 13th, 2012 at 8:24 am
Sunny Martin Reply:
July 13th, 2012 at 1:38 pm
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SM Reply:
July 12th, 2012 at 7:36 am
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Teeny Reply:
July 12th, 2012 at 8:31 am
Well, if you say so…
Did you even read the article? I suppose you also suffer from Watchtoweritis. I did for around 28 years. I don’t think I ever read a complete Watchtower magazine from cover to cover in those years, yet I always knew the answers. Watchtoweritis does this to you. It’s only contracted by cult followers.
You need to see a doctor. I recommend Dr. S Hassan.
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Brandon Reply:
July 12th, 2012 at 8:29 pm
1.
a particular system of religious worship, especially with reference to its rites and ceremonies.
2.
an instance of great veneration of a person, ideal, or thing, especially as manifested by a body of admirers: the physical fitness cult.
3.
the object of such devotion.
4.
a group or sect bound together by veneration of the same thing, person, ideal, etc.
5.
Sociology . a group having a sacred ideology and a set of rites centering around their sacred symbols.
Watchtoweritis? inflammation of the Watchtower? No. Well by those standards all religions are cults. I wouldnt say I was a die heart Jehovah’s Witness. But I know its not by any way a cult. And no one worship the watchtower.
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Sunny Martin Reply:
July 12th, 2012 at 8:53 pm
SM Reply:
July 18th, 2012 at 5:58 pm
This better explains cults, any kind of cult. Check it out and then tell me JW’s are not a cult.
Harold Reply:
July 15th, 2012 at 4:26 pm
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Sunny Martin Reply:
July 15th, 2012 at 7:53 pm
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Andrew Reply:
July 16th, 2012 at 8:07 am
Brandon Reply:
July 25th, 2012 at 10:08 am
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Andrew Reply:
July 25th, 2012 at 10:32 am
You say there is no emotional blackmail, and that you are free to make your own decision on joining and leaving but that simply isn’t true. Is it a free choice when someone threatens you with complete shunning if you leave? No. They use that to keep people in, for fear that they will lose their families, etc, as this very post explains. I don’t understand why you are so defensive about an issue that is so clear cut. This story above is proof. And I fight against all religions – I just know Jehovah’s Witnesses the best which is why I focus on them.
I noticed that some people comment on JWB just to convince others of what they hold to be true rather than coming with a mind open to change – I think you may be one of those people because I don’t see how you could look at this post with intellectual honesty and still think they aren’t a cult.
Brandon Reply:
July 25th, 2012 at 12:38 pm
Andrew Reply:
July 25th, 2012 at 12:42 pm
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Teeny Reply:
July 12th, 2012 at 8:27 am
Using that logic, all paedophiles can say the same thing. Paedophiles and Jehovah’s Witnesses have one thing in common – they both destroy families – as this post shows. If you’re really lucky, you get a double-whammy: A Jehovah’s Witness paedophile.
You can fool yourself all you like. Thing is, the world has some intelligent people in it, and some of them are on this page.
Kind regards,
Teeny
PS. You’re a tool
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mama snuggles Reply:
January 12th, 2013 at 10:40 am
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Andrew Reply:
July 12th, 2012 at 9:43 am
So, the bigger issue is not that the Jehovah’s Witnesses destroyed a family, but that the name was changed to protect their identity… you’re a moron. How many articles of the Watchtower start off with, “Names have been changed.” As if that’s the issue here. You’re a moron.
Secondly.. Hitler was an apostate!? Wow! Where did he get baptised as a Jehovah’s Witness? Again, you are clearly a moron.
And point out one lie we have made on JWB. Go on, big mouth moron. Where have we lied? You should always judge an argument based on its own merits, not on who says it. Did I mention that you are a moron?
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AYAKINS & McCroy stop kidding youselves into thinking there isn’t hypocrisy, lies & secrets in your cult.
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Andrew Reply:
July 15th, 2012 at 9:44 am
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Paedophile elders and criminals are treated much better than relatives who decide to leave the org.
The jw org are the modern pharisees they appear so self righteous, quick to point fingers at others they look down at other religions they think they are gods chosen ones out of the billions.
Pharisees back then dont know what humility is all about and that is exactly the same with the leaders of the jw org. You think they will apologise for all the mistakes they have made never.
The sooner you leave the jw org the better.
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sew sad Reply:
December 16th, 2012 at 8:51 pm
I’ve been on this site all day…it would be nice to talk to one of the owners of the site, I think. I’m pretty scared about it but…I’ve gone this far. I wish I could just go back, but I find I cannot.
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trusting poet Reply:
December 17th, 2012 at 2:29 am
I too find that I just dont believe in anything anymore, you are not alone.
I know what you are feeling right now, how you felt when you found this site and started reading stories from people whom you could relate to, who might actually understand you. For the first time realizing that you might not be so crazy after all, and that there is an explanation for the way you think and feel.
It is liberating and terrifying all at the same time. So much to process, so much to work thru… and years of teachings to overcome.
You will make it. Believe me 100% when I tell you that if I can start to figure it out and start to straighten out my head, anyone can. Just realizing that you are not alone helps more then anything.
Hugs to you.
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sew sad Reply:
December 17th, 2012 at 3:44 am
Sorry to go on and on, but you’re right…I feel like I am living in The Matrix and Inception at the same time- this is all a dream and I don’t know what to believe or trust anymore. But I can’t lie to my daughter. I just tell her I don’t know…she is terribly confused and it hurts me to see that but I can not lie. I just don’t know anything anymore.
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In my letter I wrote YOU to quit mixing in company with fornicators, not [meaning] entirely with the fornicators of this world or the greedy persons and extortioners or idolaters. Otherwise, YOU would actually have to get out of the world. But now I am writing YOU to quit mixing in company with anyone called a brother that is a fornicator or a greedy person or an idolater or a reviler or a drunkard or an extortioner, not even eating with such a man. For what do I have to do with judging those outside? Do YOU not judge those inside, while God judges those outside? “Remove the wicked [man] from among yourselves.”
The Greek for the words “quit mixing in company” is “sunanamignumi”.
This means according to Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance:
“To ‘mix up together, i.e. associate with; (have, keep) company (with).”
Also, Thayer’s Greek-English Lexicon of the New Testament says of the same word:
“to keep comany with, to be intimate with…”
The same source further uses 1 Corinthians 5:9 and 11 and 2 Thessalonians 3:14 as examples of how the word is used in the Greek text.
This is in contrast with the Greek word “mita”. In Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance it is interesting to note that this word “sunanamignumi” is shown to mean a much closer association than that or the word mita which merely denotes:
“accompaniment; amid (local or casual) – general association
Thayer’s Greek-English Lexicon of the New Testament also says regarding the Greek word sunanamignumi:
“A fellowship far closer and more intimate than that expressed by mita, although in the N.T. (New Testament) this distinction is much oftener neglected than observed. So from here it can be seen that the word used in 1 Corinthians 5:9 and 11 denotes close association, as with a friend, or someone with whom one would normally share a meal with”
So, you can see there is a clear distinction between “mita” (general association) and “sunanamignumi” (close association). This is clearly demonstrated in the Greek language.
We can see why Paul recommended that there should be no “close, or intimate association”, or sunanamignumi
When we look at the two words we can clearly see the expression Paul uses really does not suggest at all that one cannot say a simple “hello” out of common courtesy to such an individual. Paul’s warning is not to become “intimate” with the individual. However, he could have some “casual” or “general association” since this is what he would have with persons in general.
Pauls councel at 1 Corinthians Chapter 5 does not suggest that a Christian cannot be cordial to disfellowshipped individuals. He could have “general or casual association” with such individuals, which is what the scriptures really indicate.
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I’m going thru a divorce. I feigned adultery so my wife could be free to remarry. I felt sorry for her inability to let go of the organization and think for herself.
My kids are caught in the middle. 13-16 years of age. My wife has told me that once they are baptized , they will not speak to me. I am attempting to turn this around. I have two years on the oldest, she views me as causing all of this heartache. She doesn’t know the real truth, and I have to find a way to help her learn without scaring her away.
I hope I can have at least my kids. We will see how far this goes. But it is difficult to be peaceable when people treat you as dead and deserving no respect.
I believe a law for shunning should be on the books. Any religion that enforces shunning would require that their followers cannot commit themselves until a rightful age of consent. (18 or 21) – not unlike entering the military, only this decision is FAR weightier, as destruction of family is worse than death IMO.
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A culmination of not having believed what they taught for a long while and personal problems, but being married to a JW and having children, I just went along with it all. Even though I was in a “position of responsibility” as they say.
Six months after my breakdown, my wife told me to leave home, Elders decided I was a “spiritual danger” to family. In that time there was absolutely no support from any of them, for me or family.
Three years on after much research, I disassociated. By this time two of my baptised children disassociated and followed me out, two daughters were still in plus wife.
From 1999 to 2012 I had no contact whatsoever with them. Those two daughters had even got married, I was never invited to their weddings.
This year one of those disassociated children fell seriously ill, he nearly died a couple of times, he was in hospital for 6 months..
His JW mother and two sisters visited him in hospital, the first time they had seen him in 13 years.
Now he is back living with me, still ill but recovering, in the month he has been home, neither his mother or sisters have made any contact to see how he is.
He has decided if thats how they are that he does not want anything more to do with them.
Neither do I
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Andrew Reply:
January 11th, 2013 at 1:28 pm
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Steve Reply:
May 20th, 2013 at 2:33 pm
I’m so sorry that you’ve experienced the loss of a fiance due to his being sucked into the Watchtower religion.
You have to understand that this is a cult, and as such arguing over Scriptures will most likely be futile. They have answers for everything, and even though they appear as very poor answers to those outside of the cult, they are sufficient for those whose minds are already controlled.
But if he only has one foot in the door so far, here are some very simple online things you might get him to look at:
http://smmcroberts.net/blog/quiz-jehovah-or-the-watchtower/
http://smmcroberts.net/religion/fundamentalism/watchtower/course/truth/index.html
Or, if it has to be printed:
http://smmcroberts.net/religion/fundamentalism/watchtower/whynotbejw.html
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