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Jehovah’s Witnesses Warn Against the InternetSubmitted by Teeny on May 8, 2012 - 1:20 pm 8 Comments
Every now and then, the Watchower Society publishes some real gems of knowledge. Take the article in the study edition of the August 15th 2011 Watchtower, appropriately titled ”The Internet – Making Wise Use of a Global Tool.”
Now I don’t want to waste your time, therefore I’ll let the cat out of the bag. I am about to analyse and destroy this article. If this offends you and you think Satan is my daddy, you’re free to leave.
Good. Now that we’ve got that out of the way, let’s take a closer look at the “Information – Reliable or False?” section of the article:
“Never assume that all information found on the Internet is good and beneficial. Internet search engines might be compared to a legion of mushroom pickers who tirelessly collect all types of mushrooms – edible as well as poisonous – throwing them into a single container and dishing them out for us to eat.”
“Making false accusations and the general distrust of others also frequently accompany paranoia.” – Source: Wikipedia.
Why did I just throw in Wikipedia’s definition of paranoia? Well, if you’re going to write an article that on the surface looks like it’s taking a balanced view, but what you’re really doing is whitewashing it with subliminal content, I advise taking lessons from the anonymous authors that work for the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society. These mysterious authors are great at fostering paranoia against the internet. Their next statement is, well, rather silly…
“Would you start eating these mushrooms without carefully examining each one? Of course not! Internet search engines use a huge number of computers to harvest or select from billions of Web pages containing everything from the very best to the very worst. We need discernment to separate the wheat from the chaff, as it were, lest we poison our minds with mis-information.”
Is it me, or have we just hit our heads against a paradox? How does one go about selecting the “wheat from the chaff” where search results are concerned? Surely you would need to click on the actual link and carefully judge the website according to its own merits. As we rub the spot where our heads hit the paradox, I am sure you’ll agree with me that the discernment of the search results section defeats the original goal of the illustration, which was clearly to warn people away from using search engines willy-nilly.
This viral excuse of diatribe continues:
“Do not become an “Internet Eve.” Be critical and suspicious of the information. Before trusting it, ask: (1) Who published this material? What are the author’s credentials? (2) Why was this published? What motivated the writer? Is there any bias? (3) Where did the author get the information? Does he supply sources that can be checked? (4) Is the information current?”
Did they just tell us to be “critical and suspicious of the information?” Surely I misread that? I had a face-palm moment when I read the “what are the author’s credentials” line. Is the Watchtower being serious?
Can I be serious (for a change)? Let me ask some questions. Who published this material? Yes, we know it’s published by the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society, but who actually wrote this nonsense? Can we have a name please? No? Oh, that’s unfortunate. You see, I enjoy spending my time reading the drivel that these anonymous authors (who hide behind a billion-dollar corporation) pass off as “spirit-directed” content. What’s even funnier is that I also enjoy living my life by what these buffoons put in their copy!
Credentials, credentials, credentials. “What are the author’s credentials?” Well, I can tell you mine if you want me to? Simply send me an email and I’ll send you my credentials. Can I ask what credentials these anonymous author’s have? Yes, yes, they’re appointed by the Governing Body, but who cares?
“Why was this published?” Well, if we’re talking about JWB, it was published to make you laugh at the fact that once upon a time, you actually believed these fools! “What motivated the writer?” Well, if you ask this of the Watchtower, I am sure they’ll tell you that it has something to do with the power-trip these guys have over seven million deluded Jehovah’s Witnesses. “Is there any bias?” With regards the Watchtower Organisation? No, of course not! “Where did the author get the information?” Silly question! There are two plastic cups that are joined by string. Jehovah has one and the other is firmly pressed against the Governing Body’s ear.
I saved the best till last: “Does he supply sources that can be checked?” Yes, the Watchtower helped me write the article Did Jesus Christ Die on a Cross or a Stake? Their magazines and books are full of quotes that can be verified and checked. If only more Jehovah’s Witnesses checked the source quotes…
How does this carefully written piece of diarrhea end?
“So, then, what should we do with regard to the Internet? Shun it altogether? That may be necessary in some cases. The Internet junkie mentioned earlier did that in order to overcome years of addiction. On the other hand, using the Internet can benefit us, provided we let ‘thinking ability keep guard over us and discernment safeguard us.’-Prov. 2:10, 11.”
Basically, you can use the internet, but you need to use it in mind with the terms of service that you signed over to us – you remember, right? It was the day when you also signed over your life?
I am surprised the article didn’t cap it off with:
“We, the Watchtower – God’s only selected Organisation here on Earth would recommend that you refrain from using the internet, unless it is to visit our website. We wouldn’t like to have to disfellowship you, therefore, stay on the righteous path.”